sometimes, it pays to be perfect.
looking back,
after all this time..
i do felt proud about myself.

proud that i'm so courageous,
so positive,
oh, maybe not so positive..
but, yes. i'm proud of myself for being so brave.
*pats on back*

2pm to 2am.
whenever i'm feeling down,
i'll think about it,
& i'll smile.

ms lim talked to us today after our history remedial.
told her about my problems.
she said that the reason i kept getting mad,
its because i get too fed-up with little little things.
i should try to smile through those dark times.

i suddenly felt the urge to slit my wrists.
cutting myself.
jumping down from a high rise building.
the pressure is just too much.
i dont think i can hold it any longer.

sorry guys..
sorry that i kept having that "black" face today.
maybe i should listen to you guys..
stop thinking about it..
i'll be alright (:

thanks samantha, jie, puifun, yilian, lin & jessie.
thanks for supporting me.
i love you guys. (:

i thought that my times of being unhappy was over.
but no,
every good things have its dark side.

during pc period,
ms lim told us to write down what have happened during our past few years.
i wrote down my missing handphone,
2pm to 2pm,
the first time he talked to me,
psle,
my best friends,
him, him & him.

i seriously wanted to talk to him,
or just send him a sms.
i wish he would come & talk to me.
which i think is impossible.
i'll die if he does that :D


i cant get over it.
its like,
someone's blocking me,
someone pulling me away from being happy,
giving me more & more obstacles.

so near, yet so far


is dying the right choice?